One of the messages from my childhood still swirling in my head and regularly being dismantled in therapy is that I am missing something or I am flawed in some way.
Recently I came upon a quote by Madeline Le’Engles that struck a cord:
“By His wounds we are healed. But, they are our wounds, too; and until we have been healed we do not know what wholeness is.”
Can we experience healing and thus wholeness this side of heaven or will we forever struggle with the healing until our last breathe?
Psalm 19:7-9 The Message says,
“The revelation of God is whole
and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of God are clear
and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,
showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain
and easy on the eyes.
God’s reputation is twenty-four-carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of God are accurate
down to the nth degree.”
If wholeness comes through God then what is our part of the healing?
There has to be a participation piece but, what does that look like?
We can’t be expected to sit around and just pray and wait for healing, can we?
Is it holistic? Is it clinical? Is it standard practice?
What does it look like to participate in healing and becoming whole with God?
How do I know what my part is? How do I know what I need or don’t need. What is the missing piece? What am I missing?
Without knowing it I believe I have been on the journey to wholeness since I began choosing a word of the year instead of making New Years resolutions. Looking back the first few years were the beginning puzzle pieces of finding my way to seeking professional help as it pertains to anxiety, depression and ultimately being diagnosed with PTSD.
With only a few weeks left until another year has come and gone I have been diving deep into renewing my health and wellness with the desire of becoming whole.
What does it look like for me to fully live and be whole in my body, mind and soul?
Learning to listen to my own bodies needs is probably the hardest for me.
There are moments I desire hard cardio and then there are mornings when I need more sleep. I try so hard not to beat myself up but, the lack of consistency makes me feel like I am failing.
With the end of the year in site I am trying to reset and begin again. I have a plan in place but, I also know there will be days when I struggle so, maybe it is time to let perfection die.
While learning the rhythms of my own body I am also learning the path to healing consists of staying present and NOT getting too caught up in my feelings or daydreaming about the future.
Taking time to pause and get grounded before making decisions.
These are the small steps I am leaning into as the transition towards winter is coming. Honestly I am not sure where this path to wholeness is leading but, this year as I focused on tending I have come to realize every word I have been given over the past eight years has led me to here.
The more I learn and grow the stronger I feel in my mind, body and soul.
Have you begun to reflect on the year ending or are you someone who waits until the last minute?
I sometimes wonder if this is a personality thing because I so enjoy the end of the year. Giving my self time and space to reflect and renew my resolve to live each day more present with myself and my people. I know I am still a work in progress but, ultimately if we are not growing we aren’t fully living either.
So, here are a few questions for you to sit with today:
What have you learned this year?
What has surprised you about this year?
What do you want to take with you into the new year?
What do you want to leave in this year?
Until next time I hope you can find margin in your day to reflect and consider all you have learned this year!
